As the first year of my graduate schooling nears its end, I have realized that design is hard to finish. Where do I stop iterating and start deciding? Where do I draw the line? This may be hard for every designer, I don't know. I have one classmate who always knows exactly what she wants to do straight from the first idea, but that's just not me. But I think it's more than that...it's fear. I'm actually scared to finish a project.
Why? Well...I'm scared it won't turn out like I had hoped. I'm scared I will have put in all this time and effort and it is actually just...horrid. I'm scared that I amped it up during the process, then I hit a wall, and find out I'm not that creative because I can't figure out another way to do what I set out to do.
I actually have about three unfinished projects in my queue right now. (a metal pendulum, a suspension shelf, and a game controller) And it's not that they aren't close to being done, they are literally one good day of refinement and tweaking from being done...but I just cannot finish them. It's like I am scared to touch them because I am scared to make something that isn't perfect. Something that my classmates or my professors or strangers won't praise.
This makes me feel pretty sucky, but I have really come to recognize this flaw...but how to fix it? I don't know yet. My first thought is to just make stuff so I can be more comfortable with making. Get all the mistakes out, figure out what I do and don't know...then just accepting a non-perfect result. That may be the essence of the journey actually being the destination, because I swear I have a great time making, but I sure do hate the end result most of the time.
This post isn't as insightful as my others...it's more of a vent. I'm insecure about putting effort, time, and care into something that won't come out the way I envisioned...and this is why I am scared to finish.