"Daily"

I've come to give an update on the things that I have been doing daily that have been helping me out.  In a lot of my old posts were talks of fear, anxiety from not being consistent, and regrets of not going after stuff...and I decided that that's old.  Time to wipe those away...but it'll take a while.  Like, I'll have to do it daily...if I want to grow.

The things I do daily are:

sketchingstretching, praying, and reminding myself I'm a badass.

Sketching used to make me anxious because I didn't think I was good at it...now I sketch everyday so I can get good at it.  The one thing I didn't expect from this was all the positive feedback I have been getting from it.  People saying how my sketching has improved, or is great to look at, or encourages them to get back to drawing is super encouraging.  This daily positive reinforcement helps to battle the negative feedback I give myself.  Even some friends who don't sketch, but have something they wish they worked on everyday say that my sketch-a-day inspires them to do whatever they have been putting off.  That's dope.

I used to down myself everyday.  Not intentionally, but the way I talked to myself was unhealthy.  "I can't", "I might", "I wish, but..." "I've never been good at..." and all those other predicates I would start my sentence off with set this mood of defeat before I even started.  I stopped myself from starting...but my line sister got me this awesome calendar called "You are a BADASS" and reading it everyday lifts me before I start my work.  I sent it to my friends too.  Post it on snapchat too (lol).  Today's calendar said:

"Energy needs to flow or else it stagnates.  Surrendering puts you in the flow.  Doubt is resistance; faith is surrender.  Worry is resistance; joy is surrender.  Control is resistance; allowing is surrender.  Ridicule is resistance; believing is surrender."

This struck a cord with me because I was doing everything to resist myself.  I was the obstacle to me allowing myself to get better.  The daily reinforcements lift me before I can put myself down.  

I've been stretching everyday.  You won't believe this, but over the last year and a half I think I have pulled my hamstring 4-5 times.  Partially because I'm inconsistent in working out, partially from not treating my body well during stressful school semesters, and partially because I don't know my body well anymore.  I'm not a collegiate athlete anymore, but my mind only knows those workouts and that intensity.  It's been a crazy adjustment, but I'm building back slowly and learning what it takes to take care of my body right now.  And for me, that's a morning stretch to loosen myself up and wake myself up.  I worked out for the first time yesterday and its the first time that my hamstring hasn't locked up on me in a year.  Pray it stays that way...I'm slowly building (like everything else in my life.)

Lately, I have been in my Bible daily.  I used to be afraid to pray!  (I know.)  Honestly, I thought I didn't have anything worth asking for.  I thought my goals were unattainable or irrelevant in the grand scheme of things (I mean people are dying and I want to design a sports bra...doesn't sound like I'm doing much to solve any real problem).  Other times I didn't know what to ask for, I didn't know where I was going.  Other times I just wasn't thankful.  I felt like I wasn't going anywhere or doing the right thing and God wasn't putting me back on the right track.  Who can pray with that mindset?  I didn't.  I didn't pray.  But hey, I decided I'm going to pray everyday, out loud (so I don't fall asleep) and believe that I matter.  That God gave me these desires for a reason and I should go after them.  That whatever I do end up doing will still give God the glory.  The Bible is truly legit.  Truly a story.  The bible plans in the bible app break it downnnnn...and I feel empowered in the morning after praying and making proclamations.

So, this is me daily...and I plan to keep it that way.  If i fall off, remind me.  I hope you guys find what lifts you and grows you daily...then do it daily...then share with someone who is holding themselves back.  #daily

-JK