Why I haven't wrote a post in 7 months

You know...I haven't wrote a blog post in about 7 months.  Before that I hadn't wrote one in 3 months.  (Mind you, the goal was to write every 2 weeks when I started Aug. 2015).  When I was an athlete, I never went a day without practicing, but even a day when I didn't practice, the rest and rejuvenation was vital to my training.  I've realized that I am not treating design like I treated track.  I've expected myself to be great since day 1 and if I wasn't, then I would go into a downward spiral.

I can't do that.  I have to give myself room to go through the process of becoming great.  In track, I knew I wasn't the greatest, but I was always striving to get better.  If I improved my long jump by a quarter of an inch or by a foot, I was happy!  I went out there everyday, whether I felt great, sore, happy, or fearful, and I trained.  I did what I had to do everyday because I believed I could pull the best out of myself.  

Now that I'm not a (practicing) athlete anymore, I've decided that design needs to be my track.  Sketching needs to be my laps.  Projects are the only way I will get my reps in.  Each rep will get better...some days I won't be able to lift it because I'm sore or overwhelmed, but that doesn't mean there isn't tomorrow for me.

Re-reading my last post from Apr. 12, 2016 about "Becoming a Finisher" put me down for a second because I didn't believe I had came far enough.  I wondered how could I still be struggling with the same thing - fear of finishing, fear of doing, fear of making.  How can a designer be afraid of making when that is all they do?  I realized that I had given myself unrealistic expectations without putting in the right kind of work.  That everyday work.  The work when I'm tired.  The work when no one forces me to work.  The work that says you'll get better even when I'm not there yet.  The work that doesn't give up when I'm not there yet.  The work that believes the best is within me and I just have to pull it out each day.

So my goal for 2017 and on, is to treat design like a sport.  I'm training everyday like I did for track to keep pulling better and better out of me...but celebrating the wins on the way and not giving permanence to the losses.  

I'm excited for this new mindset and this journey.  Y'all have a great 2017!

-JK